Getting through Christmas and New Year’s Eve whilst on an IVF journey 

Christmas and New Year are full of joy and celebration, but if you’re on a fertility journey or going through IVF, it can feel daunting. Festive gatherings that you normally look forward to might feel challenging this year, especially as they often bring well-meaning but challenging questions, or even unsolicited advice from loved ones. It’s okay if your emotions aren’t quite aligned with the season’s sparkle.  

But remember, under the glitz and glam of Christmas, you are not alone. Many others are feeling the same mix of emotions, and it’s okay to navigate this season in a way that feels right for you. Here’s a quick guide to help you through:  

1. Set boundaries
Christmas often brings together family members and friends you might not see often, and that can lead to questions about your plans for children or advice you didn’t ask for. If attending an event feels like too much, it’s okay to decline. Remember, you don’t need to explain yourself, and putting yourself first is absolutely okay. 

If you do choose to attend events and gatherings, consider giving yourself a time limit. Arriving a bit later or leaving early can help you to enjoy the best parts without being overwhelmed. And if you feel like making a quiet, early exit – go for it! 

2. Prepare responses for sensitive questions

Some family and friends may not understand the challenges of IVF treatment and may offer unsolicited advice or ask deeply personal questions. Having responses ready can make these interactions easier. For example:

“We’re taking things step-by-step, but thank you for thinking of us.” 
“It’s a bit of a sensitive topic right now, but I appreciate your concern.” 

Shifting the topic back to something light—like what to do with all the leftover turkey and mulled wine—can steer the conversation in a way that feels better for you.

3. Don't judge yourself

The holiday season comes with expectations—whether it’s being cheerful, spending time with family, or following certain traditions. It’s easy to feel pressure to meet these expectations, but remember: however you’re feeling, it’s valid. You don’t need to justify your choices, and you deserve compassion, especially from yourself.

4. Spend the holidays your way

Christmas doesn’t have to mean staying in, sipping hot chocolate, and watching festive films. If it lifts your spirits, get out there and dance, attend parties, or plan something adventurous. Whether it’s a lively evening or a cosy one, do what feels good to you. Your holiday should reflect your preferences—not anyone else’s expectations.

5. Take care of yourself

It’s no secret that the Christmas rush can be exhausting, even more so when you’re already having a tough time physically and emotionally. Make time for activities that you enjoy, whether that’s cosying up with a book, watching yourfavourite Christmas film, going for a walk, or eating an entire tray of pigs in blankets. Social media can feel overwhelming at this time of year, seeing endless photos of families in matching pyjamas and children unwrapping presents may not be what you need to see right now, and that’s perfectly understandabl It’s okay to log off if it’s not helping your mood. 

6. Find joy in the here and now

On a fertility journey, it’s easy to feel caught between hopes for the future and the challenges of today. Christmas can offer an opportunity to find small joys that lift you up, independent of your journey. A favourite Christmas treat, a relaxed evening with your partner, or a cosy night in can bring so much comfort and these small, lovely moments can help you stay grounded in the present. 

7. Lean on your support network

Whether it’s a close friend, a family member, or an online fertility community, stay close to the people who help you feel seen, heard, and understood. If you haven’t yet, consider forming an “inner circle” of safe people you can rely on and lean on when you need a little extra care. Christmas often brings lots of socialising withpeople who might not be the best for you at this time, if that’s the case for you, remember that it’s okay to keep a bit of distance. 

8. Reflecting on the past year and looking ahead to the future

As New Year’s Eve approaches, it’s natural to reflect on the year gone by. For many on a fertility journey, the past year may hold a mix of highs, lows, and lessons learned. Allow yourself the space to acknowledge your feelings—gratitude for moments of hope, sadness for the challenges, and strength for how far you’ve

New Year’s is also an opportunity to look ahead. While it may not be easy to plan every step of your journey, you can set intentions for the coming year—whether that’s prioritising self-care, seeking support, or taking the next steps toward treatment. Remember, the new year doesn’t have to be about resolutions or pressure; it’s about hope and possibilities. 

9. Remember: You’re not alone

Fertility challenges are more common than many realise—one in six couples experience them. This Christmas, if you’re finding it hard to feel festive, know that you’re not alone in feeling this way. The season can bring up many emotions, and you’re not alone in experiencing them. 

10. Check your clinic’s opening hours and support availability

The festive season can bring changes to normal routines, and it’s a good idea to check your clinic’s opening hours over Christmas and New Year. Knowing when support is available can give you peace of mind, especially if you’re undergoing treatment or need to contact your care team.

If your clinic is closed during certain periods, they may provide an emergency contact number or alternative resources for urgent queries. Don’t hesitate to reach out if you need support—your well-being is a priority. 

If you need extra support, we’re here for you. You can also reach out to organisations like the Fertility Network UK Support Line at 0121 323 5025 or join an online community like Fertility Friends. 

However you choose to spend Christmas and New Year, remember to prioritise yourself and your well-being. And if you feel ready to take the next step, you can always reach out to talk to one of our fertility experts. We're here to help you feel supported every step of the way.