Our IVF journey started a year after we were married in 2016. Both aged 33, we actively started trying to conceive. But after a year of trying, we realised that something must be wrong, so we went to our GP and had some tests done on the NHS. I remember the day when we got the call from the consultant, we were in Wales looking after our baby nephew. The phone signal was fuzzy, but we heard the results clearly, and our hearts sank. James's semen analysis revealed Male Factor Infertility, and the consultant was referring us for IVF – specifically, ICSI. 

For some people having IVF works the first time – you hear of it happening all the time. But for most people, and certainly for us, it takes quite a few attempts. I found the best way to look at IVF was like it was one (big) jigsaw puzzle. Some people get a small one, and some people get on that's 5000+ pieces. I think we were somewhere in the middle. The good thing is, Care Fertility are really good at jigsaw puzzles. They help you gather the bits of the puzzle as you go along with extra diagnostic tests like EMMA/ALICE, ERA, and PGT-A. 

Never lose hope, this process can take time. If you are not pregnant yet, it likely means you haven't quite found the last part of your puzzle. 

A big part of me never thought I'd never have a baby, never mind writing this kind of blog – but there was always something that kept me going. It's good to try and find your 'something' that helps you to keep going. For me it was trusting in the perfect timing and allowing myself to hope. It's natural to protect yourself, and holding onto hope is easier said than done, but I came to realise it was really important. 

There's an old proverb that says, 'Hope deferred makes the heart weak'. So, if you are not hoping it can make you sad and make the process a whole lot harder to navigate and deal with. 

On this journey, I learned to try and put aside any past negative experiences – such as the four failed transfers we had and move forwards. After the fifth transfer, I imagined holding my baby in my arms. It sounds silly but I spoke to my belly and read our embryo a story every night.  

And after 3 egg collections, and 4 failed transfers, we were pregnant! It was a journey, but it was so worth it.

I ended up giving birth six weeks before my 40^th birthday! 

My advice would be to read up and educate yourself on the IVF process. I have come across a lot of people who are devastated and tempted to give up when IVF doesn’t work the first time. Don’t be discouraged. On average, it takes six IVF cycles to get pregnant.  

It’s so important to respect the professionals, they are amazing, but you also need to follow your gut. If you feel like you should have a certain test, ask for it. From early on I had a feeling I had a high NK Cell count. It turned out I did, and after taking some steroids I became pregnant on the fifth transfer.  

I really wanted to write this blog to encourage those who are about to embark on their IVF journey, for those who aren’t pregnant yet are heartbroken, fed up, weary, frustrated, angered and sad, and those who have never seen those two pink lines on a pregnancy test or even an ovulation test! I feel you. I get it. I’ve been there. For six whole years we were trying to conceive. 

It’s important to see IVF as a gift rather than feeling sad, sorry, or frustrated that you must go through the process. Of course, it is normal to feel that way but flipping your mindset and seeing things from a different perspective can help.  

Now at the age of 41 we’re commencing with another round, for a sibling for our miracle baby! We are so grateful to everyone at Care Fertility.  

For those reading this and looking for that little glimmer of hope (and the two pink lines on a pregnancy test!), my heart is with you, and I wish you all the best on your journey.  

Claire, James, and baby Raphael.